Tuesday, August 31, 2010
5 Years ago on August 30, 2005
I apologize for posting this so late but as I am sure you can imagine, today was not an easy day for me or my family. 5 years ago today, Michael Williams, my cousin was viciously and brutally murdered on his way home from work that Tuesday morning. Somehow, when we hit the 5 year mark, I thought it would be easier. I thought by now we would be used to it. I thought wrong. Tonite I am angry. I am angry that his case is unsolved and that his killer runs free. I am angry that the justice system has failed for Mike, I am angry that despite all of the hours that I spend out in the blazing sun, weathering the storms, etc., we are still waiting for answers. That is all we do. We wait. We wait for the phone to ring and say that Mike's killer has been caught. We suffer enormous highs and lows everyday., every time the phone rings hoping that it is the news we have been waiting for. We hold onto each other and pretend that everything is going to be okay. Well guess what? It is NOT okay. It will never be okay again. The public thinks we are crazy. We ourselves question that one. Are we gullible? Are we stupid? Are we desperate for hope? Maybe. Defiantly. I may be the head of this organization but I am also the family member of an unsolved murder victim. Does anyone get that?? I miss Mike. I go out in the public all of the time and spend hours talking about him. I hear every story imaginable and have to filter through the bullshit and try at the same time to remain professional and hopeful. And believe me, there are days when I just don't want to do that. I want to scream. I want someone to listen. I want someone, anyone to just hug me and tell me that it will all be okay. I want my memories back. The one's of my childhood with Mike and all of the good times we have had that are now replaced with this tip and that lead and this little bit of info... It is so hard to remain hopeful. How and more importantly, WHY should we have to do this? Why does Mike's killer deserve more kindness than we do? We have to be patient. We can't accuse anyone. We have to have every "t" crossed and "i" dotted. We have to have honest and reliable witnesses. We have to have evidence. We have to have this and that and this and that and in the meantime...don't get frustrated, don't get angry, try to understand, be supportive, don't give up hope, ride the emotional roller coaster. WHY???? So some Son of a Bitch can walk around free while we are forced to live inside this prison? Can someone please tell me how this is fair???
Posted by Belinda Puchajda at 1:18 AM